things I wish I knew sooner
thinking a lot about what I tell younger women (and men) when they ask for advice.
1. you don’t have to equate confidence with arrogance.
you won’t get what you don’t ask for. (speak up)
you don’t need permission to begin enjoying your own company.
you show people how to treat you.
you aren’t someone whose values can be squashed or stretched, fit into a tiny box of convenience.¹
if you’re feeling anxious- you’re in the future
if you’re feeling depressed- you’re in the past
you are not a secret. don’t let them hide you.¹
what you say about yourself (even to yourself) matters more than you’d believe. stop yelling at the flower of you, hoping it’ll grow.
you aren’t absolved of responsibility just because someone also has shitty behaviour. ²
change begins the moment you stop waiting for rescue.³
it isn’t poetic and romantic to yearn and pine. it’s wasteful.
no one is watching you as much as you wish they were.
the easiest way to shift a bad mood is to focus on being useful to others
your love for another person may be control in disguise
take note of those who make you genuinely laugh
intimacy is built through vulnerability, and vulnerability requires safety.
notes
¹ aka stop pursuing unavailable people¹ truly, STOP dating unavailable people
² aka “two things can be true at once”/ learn duality, dammit!
³ this, for me was the most important lesson. the lesson of lessons. There is no guru, no mentor, no elder, no course, no book, no podcast. there is nothing that compares to the act of caring for yourself.
Love it